


to whisper through strings

by xiijen



Category: Mo Dao Zu Shi, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anime, Boys Being Boys, Bunnies, Crack, Cute, Flowers, Fluff, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Moon, Mutual Pining, SO MUCH FLUFF, WangXian, good ending, juniors being supportive af, kiss, lan zhan teaching philosophical lessons, paperman shenanigans, slight angst, they are in love ok, using talismans for letters uwu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:15:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24474865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiijen/pseuds/xiijen
Summary: Wei Wuxian wants to return to the Cloud Recesses after a year long of travelling--but he wants to come back home with a grand entrance to surprise Lan Wangji. Oblivious of the situation, Wei Wuxian and the juniors: Jingyi, Sizhui, Jin Ling and Zizhen all team up to figure out a plan to surprise Lan Wangji with Wei Wuxian's arrival.The juniors break many rules, but the result at the end was definitely worth it.❀❀❀“Have you ever made a selfish wish?” Wei Wuxian murmurs.“Mm.”“Something immaterial, just impossible?” Lan Wangji listens to what Wei Wuxian has to say. “I want… time to stop. I want this moment to last forever.”“This moment.” Lan Wangji repeats, his voice a shudder. “To cherish… a single moment…”
Relationships: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn
Comments: 9
Kudos: 227





	to whisper through strings

**Author's Note:**

> hello! :) this is my first work on ao3 and first wangxian fic. I write often and I love wangxian so much I had to make an AO3 just to post this. I hope you like it. This is post-CQL! universe. enjoy ❀  
> (i also posted this on asianfanfics (user: jenmin). if you see it there, it's me. lol)

“To Whisper Through Strings”

As long as the stars gleamed in brilliant specks and the ocean seeped on to shore, they were bound to meet again between the mirror of sky and sea. The milky moon climbed up its studded staircase, its brilliance radiating. He would be looking at it, yes. From miles and miles away, he, too, would glance at it. Far, yet never forgotten. A warm glow of a fluttering talisman lingered in the air, twirling against the subtle touch of his fingertip. Its wings, much like a butterfly’s, flapped in the stuffy air of his room.

Maybe Wei Wuxian could not soar into the air, whether on paper-thin wings or on a flying sword, yet a piece his soul could… all the way to the clouds and wispy winds of the Cloud Recesses.

With that, he let the butterfly follow the moon’s milky stream.

❀

“What the hell—ah!” A boy, usually much more composed in times of crisis, withheld a long, binding bow tightly in his grasp. With his other hand, he swatted an annoying object hovering over his head several times as if he blindly decided to throw a fit with the warm air. “Shoo! Get out of my way! Jingyi!” He pranced, stepping over fluffs of white.

“How many do you think there are?” The boy that was called formed a pout on his lips.

“Over two dozen, that’s for sure. I suspect Hanguang-Jun would be cross with us even if we let one out of our sight, so we have to keep an eye out.”

“Jeez,” Lan Jingyi let out a snort. “I knew Hanguang-Jun liked these furballs, but why do we have to watch them? If I don’t study for tomorrow's exam I’m going to fail, just like last time.”

“I’m sure you’ll do just fine, Jingyi.” His friend offered a soft smile, more to the bunnies rather than Jingyi himself, to much of his notice. It was in that sliver of momentary tranquility when they heard an obnoxious shout slice through Gusu’s usual silent ambiance. The boy robed in gold continued his fight with the sky as he maneuvered himself over.

“Aiya, how many times do we have to tell you that yelling is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses?” Jingyi raised his voice a mere inch, slowly shriveling down to the ground. “Jin Ling, you are really something else.”

“Jin Ling,” Lan Sizhui offered, rising on his feet. “What are you doing? You’re swatting a talisman!” He slowly made his way over, being sure to watch his footing in case he accidentally brushed his boot against the rabbits.

“Talisman?” He stood still for just a moment to take a closer look. Sizhui was correct—it fluttered gold, much like his robes, and flapped harmlessly just above their heads. A shimmer of yellow specs dusted the ground below it, sparkling to one who would focus long enough. Adoration twinkled in Jingyi and Sizhui’s eyes as the latter scoffed, a usual frown plastered on his face. “I’ve never seen such a girly talisman like this.”

“You’re one to talk,” Jingyi snorted. “You named your obnoxious dog Fairy.”

“It’s _appropriate_!” He seethed, crossing his arms defensively. But instead of diving into an explanation which the latter would just dismiss as useless fuddering, he squatted with a huff to examine the bunnies, one which just hopped into his lap. His sour expression wilted. Ouyang Zizhen, who just arrived at the scene, scoffed at the unusually silent Jin Ling which whom was defeated on the ground. But just before the three boys could get comfortable under the shade of the branching white dogwoods, a petal seemed to caress the surface of skin. Not from the budding flowers, yet the butterfly itself into Sizhui’s welcoming palm.

“Who is that from?” Zizhen quirked a brow, stealing the bunny Jin Ling was currently playing with. As fluttering seconds rolled by, the disciples eyes widened, his cloud-crested band around his forehead rising along with his brows. Sizhui stuttered, much unlike him in front of his classmates. As the three simultaneously tilted their heads to the right, they saw the butterfly unfolded.

“I-It’s from Senior Wei!” A smile touched his lips as his grip on the golden paper tightened. And there it was in clear calligraphy—a letter informing the boys of his planned return. A distinct chattering sounded behind Sizhui until their heads were all huddled together, closely knit as they traced their eyes on the characters. Wei Wuxian had written their names out specifically, informing them briefly of his travels, the paths he’d walked on, oh, and the lack of Emperor’s Smile in his belly, and wishes for them and their health. It was an overall heartwarming letter until the contents below, seemingly bolder in text.

_Lan Qiren would for sure beat my ass if he knows I plan to come by the Cloud Recesses. In fact, the thought of it warms my heart a bit that at least one would remember me. Haha. Did I just write that? Well, I can’t erase it now. Wah, and I’m running out of space. Okay, okay…_

At this, Jing Ling scoffs.

_I want to surprise Lan Zhan, and I want all of you to help me out, if you can. I bet he’s been dying to see me, haha! I would write to him but I would much rather wait until I arrive to tell him everything on my mind. Now that I think about it, His Excellency (Wow, I can’t believe the esteemed Hanguang-Jun was promoted to Chief Cultivator! Wait, nevermind. I believe it.) might be very busy, but if you all could pull some strings, I would like to make a grand entrance. Not as Wei Wuxian, the Demonic Cultivator or anything, but Wei Ying. For him. On a second thought, it doesn’t have to be grand. I just want to see him happy. His expression would be priceless._

And for some reason, the boys could practically hear Senior Wei giggling to himself while writing such a thing, a smile strewn on his face that no one had seen in over a year already. As the last sentences wrapped up his thoughts, Sizhui smiled for him. “So Senior Wei would like us to surprise Hanguang-Jun for his arrival, which will be in a week!”

“This seems a little excessive… are they really always like this?” Jingyi stepped back, but thought for himself. Of course they are—it shouldn’t be a question. He knew the look His Excellency bore when without such a partner, the one during classes, and the one during his endless string of meetings. It was all the same, it was always like that before Senior Wei waltzed into his life. Into everyone’s lives, really. “You know what? I’m definitely in.”

The other Lan and Zizhen nodded furiously, ready to do whatever it took to see Hanguang-Jun smile. They were itching with curiosity, have any of them ever seen him smile? Questioning each other silently, they turned their heads to Jin Ling, still profoundly silent amidst the group. His head, slightly lowered, veered over to a singular dogwood petal on the grass. Sizhui knew of his habit of being awfully sentimental at the strangest of times. It was obvious he was moved by such simple words on golden parchment, yet Sizhui understood completely what he thought. It was beautiful.

Yet Jin Ling would never admit it aloud.

“Jin Ling, are you in?” They pressed softly, mostly because of the gentle prodding of Sizhui. As his eyes averted from the scattered pearls of nature, he nodded with newfound determination.

❀

There was a moon overhead the swaying magnolias. Chimes sent whispers with the warm wind as Lan Wangji made his way over to the Jingshi, a pristine white form in himself. It was almost nine. His Excellency had done endless work during the day; once he escaped, his natural route was always to his quarters. He walked calmly, as if no true destination awaited him. Despite the Jingshi under a cascade of cornuses, white stone and a grand threshold, it felt empty. Empty of another warmth. Not garbed in white, baring the signia of clouds between his temples, yet something contrasting.

He did not think further.

The bunnies welcomed him anyway, hopping in his presence, nuzzling their noses near his rising feet. The boys seemed to take care of them well. He would have to thank them later. Yet as he slid the door of the Jingshi closed, the round window was opened on the opposing side of the entrance as it blew a calm wind inside. With such an opening, anything could face him. Yet, nothing. Only the moon, and the occasional blossom falling from a branch.

Maybe Lan Wangji could not drop everything and ride on the silver lining of Bichen, flying in the air to meet him now. But his soul could, in many different ways—it would. And so as he delivered a silent wish to the orb above, he closed his eyes and envisioned the flight.

❀

Butterflies would arrive twice a day. Yet, there was a problem—they would land just in front of the Jingshi every time. If someone, and that someone being Lan Wangji, goes as far as to pick it up and read it, Wei Wuxian and the boys’ plans would be soiled into dust. So they had to manage. Clearly, they were up for the challenge. And on the next day, Lan Jingyi in particular had been riled up with determination. “Alright, listen up everyone.” He stood in front of the three boys, lined up like little soldiers. Sizhui, with his posture straight and precise; Zizhen, confused with an unamused brow raised; and Jin Ling, annoyed yet admittedly curious to see what his friend was going to say about their mission. “Senior Wei will be sending us the first butterfly at noon. Which means, one of us will have to sneak out of class, grab it, and come back as quickly as possible without Hanguang-Jun suspecting a thing.”

“What are we supposed to say to leave the classroom?” Jin Ling had asked.

“What? That’s not my responsibility to give you excuses. You come up with something on your own!”

That’s what Jingyi had said—it was simple enough at the time they were outside on the veranda, but his shallow words hadn’t sunk in until they were locked in the stuffiness of the classroom, their exam papers strewn in front of them. And if anything could be worse amidst the awkward silence, Hanguang-Jun was at the head of the room, as expected, but in their minds they weren’t as boggled by such an intimidating presence. Without their Senior looking, the boys exchanged frenzied expressions at each other. Silent mouthed words along the lines of, “Who is going?” and, “Not me! You!” and the occasional, “I’m going to be cursed for lying forever!” were traded.

In summary, all of them were being a little chicken. But no matter. Lan Sizhui, righteous in his own disciplined way, raised his hand confidently as if prepared to expose his friends' secrets. The others cringed as he did so, but did their best to remain poised. “Hanguang-Jun, may I be excused? I need to…” The silence befell on all of them. “...go relieve myself.”

Despite the students’ cringing—and Zizhen doing his best to hold in a laugh—Lan Wangji nodded and waved him out of the room. “Mm.” Was all he provided. Trying not to dash out too excitedly, Sizhui saluted and made his way outside, inhaling deeply. Then, almost against clan rules, he skipped away to the Jingshi, currently unattended. His heart raced a million beats per second. Wei Wuxian and him bore a secret together that would later benefit Lan Wangji. It was exhilarating (despite his uneasiness lying to Hanguang-Jun, he would have to repent to himself later), and he planned to try his very best to please both of his seniors. Making his way past the bunnies, a familiar butterfly waited on the front porch as he retrieved it quickly.

Opening it, he read the contents.

_This may sound silly, but hear me out, alright? Lan Zhan is always wearing those funeral white colors, but despite them being plain, I’m thinking of flowers. Magnolias. Gardenias. Jasmine. Do you sense my pattern here? They match him so well._

Reading the rest of his request, Sizhui’s stomach filled with its own butterflies. Flowers. He would have to collect lots of flowers for Senior Wei’s plan. It was brilliant for the result, he could imagine such a thing in his head. Tucking the letter in between the folds of his robes, he made his way back to the classroom when he ran into a hard surface. “Uh—” Regaining his balance, he managed to make out his friend on the veranda with him. “Jin Ling? Why did you dismiss yourself?”

“What? You were taking so long, I thought you died or something!” He whisper-shouted. Scoffing now that he confirmed Sizhui was okay, he crossed his arms. “Well, we’re both out now, it’s already suspicious enough. Do we go back in at the same time or stagger?”

“Um…” Sizhui thought. He had never been in such a childish situation before. Yet, it was more complicated to think about than he presumed. “We stagger. I go in first, you pretend to relieve yourself. Yeah?”

“Psh, I guess so…” Jin Ling murmured. After a moment of silence clouded them, Jin Ling perked up. “Hey, wait! What did the letter say?”

“Oh, right!” Sizhui leaned forward. “We need flowers. Lots of them.”

“Flowers?”

“White ones of any kind.”

“Jeez, Wei Wuxian is really going to pull the biggest, most embarrassing show the Cloud Recesses has ever seen…” He uttered, crossing his arms in afterthought. _Not that he probably didn’t already when he was studying here._ “When are we going to gather them, though? After this class, we have another one almost a half an hour later. Will we have enough time to gather so many flowers? And where do we even put them?”

“I think we can certainly manage if we all work together.” The other nodded fiercely. “Senior Wei is counting on us. But I have an idea, it isn’t so suspicious to gather them behind the Jingshi. Plus, most flowers grow around there, it’d be more efficient to just keep the pile there for now.”

Jin Ling scoffed at his quick consulting of the situation. “Hm… alright then. He better thank us for this.” Sizhui, seeing through Jin Ling’s fits of bitter words, gave him a small smile as a silent assurance. The other peeled his eyes away shyly, knowing Sizhui was wholly aware of what he was thinking. Of course he cared about Senior Wei and Hanguang-Jun’s happiness. The boys have seen it all together, it was an unspoken understanding the group shared. Jin Ling, being a bit of a secret romantic, had been waiting for a moment like this for a long time, something he would never admit. “Sizhui, what do you think of all of this? Be honest with me.”

“I would never not be honest.” He replied almost immediately. It’s the Lan in him. The latter thought. “I… Hm…” He hung his head low. “There was something in the look Hanguang-Jun gave Senior Wei a year back, when me, them and Senior Wen were together before we headed out to pay our respects at the Burial Mounds. It was… happy.”

“Oh.” Jin Ling stiffened.

“It’s… something I would love to experience one day.” Sizhui quietly added.

“Being happy?”

“ _Their_ happy. One of reunion after many, many years.” He bit his inner lip. “If that makes sense.” A silence fell between them as the Lan straightened up. _Hanguang-Jun… you deserve so much more than what you give yourself credit for._ Sizhui wanted to rant on about how he was selfless, righteous, kind, polite… the list went on and on. To just be a little selfish and cherish one thing for himself… he knew Hanguang-Jun would never do that, never dare to tame an untamed spirit such as Wei Wuxian.

But… maybe he was not so untamable after all.

❀

A head, one with white ribbons tied tightly on a topknot, poked out from a corner. Then another and another and another until four distinct heads popped out into view, their eyes narrowing slightly in an attempt to be sneakier than they could actually be. They grasp the situation as the pairs of eyes scan the area. “Is the coast clear?”

An aggressive nod is felt from the lowermost part of their stack of heads. And all at once, they slowly disperse themselves like loosened atoms in the atmosphere. After a quiet padding on the toes of their feet and a delicate lift of their open palms, they paused. And as the Cloud Recesses prohibited, they ran towards the meadows in lightning fast speed. A sect rule broken after another, Wei Wuxian would be most proud of their efforts indeed. Originally, the thought was to sneak around and pick as many flowers they could before they would be caught by figures such as Lan Qiren or Hanguang-Jun, but that slowly descended into a feverish competition on who could gather the most blossoms before their undeclared time limit ran cold. The intensity set off once Lan Jingyi sped past all of them, careful to avoid plummeting into patches of lilacs and iridescent quartz stone.

“This isn’t a competition, _Jingyi_!” Jin Ling had hollored uselessly, spitting his classmates name out like a shameless curse. Yet, conforming almost immediately, he made his way past his friend and plucked a fresh gardenia from over him. As expected, Ouyang Zizhen ducked under his arm to snatch the flower. They chased each other in a wide circle.

“Guys, no yelling!” Sizhui pressed, an ineffectual request. Before he could even express a smidge of discontent, the two running boys had plummeted into him, toppling the trio towards the ground with an unceremonious thump. A gather of bloom floated in the air, surrounding their heavy forms. “Oh, you’re going to get it, Jin Ling!”

“What?! It was Zizhen! Jingyi, help me!” After a few rounds of chasing each other, shoving flowers up noses, sneezing, and finally crushing the lilacs, a crunch was heard from the entrance of the meadow. All eyes and ears perked up like rabbits as they flicked their view from each other to the threshold.

“I’m gone. I’m gone. I’m so dead. Hide me!” Jingyi frowned, dancing over the piles of flowers picked to find a weeping willow a few steps away, standing behind the trunk as if avoiding a punishment of a lifetime.

“Hey, aren’t you Lan’s supposed to face your wrongdoings with pride and dignity?” Zizhen rose a brow. “Not to tell you something you don’t know, or anything…”

“No, Zizhen. You’re absolutely right.” Sizhui uttered. “We’ve already caused misconduct in class, and now in the meadow. It would only be just if we confess what we have done and reflect upon ourselves.”

“You’re so quick to throw us under the boat like this?!” Jin Ling huffed. But to his demise, the crunching sounded closer and closer. He joined his knees to the grass, pairing himself with the two others already in a formal salute on the ground. An irritation buzzed at the front of his head, his temples pulsing with needles. Uncle Jiang Cheng would definitely crack a whip at him a few times if he heard about his misbehavior.

Jingyi, finally losing his composure from behind the tree, crawled his way to the line facing the entrance. And as their bodies convulsed together, buzzing in an anxiousness only a Lan student would know, they awaited their end as the crunching‘s source revealed itself.

❀

Lan Wangji made use of his break for once. It was only on a rare occasion when he would find himself following the shine of the translucent quartz on the ground, his eyes tracing every stepping stone past mossy grounds and shaded riversides. Gusu was there for him in its tranquil aura. Lan Wangji would tell himself to acknowledge it. A hand and sprawling sleeve neatly behind his back, he sensed a shift in the air. Was it clan leaders filing in for the meeting? No. That would be later in the afternoon, after the last class. Finding himself intrigued by this little noise, he made his way towards syringa-studded grounds.

His view was met with a weeping willow, it’s drooped branches swaying calmly in the breeze. On the ground was a curious sight. Many jasmines, little as they may be, were scattered on the ground, perhaps a messy aftermath of what was really gathered here. He blinked. A singular white bunny, prancing and crunching with its small feet, stuck a flower in its mouth. It’s nose scrunched. Perhaps it was the one that bit the flowers out of its stems, for it was the only living thing hopping in the meadow.

“Ah, Wangji. So you were here.”

A familiar voice sounded behind His Excellency, as a presence made its way beside him. Turning, he saluted steadily. “Uncle.”

“Hm. It is quite beautiful here, isn’t it? It looks like one of your rabbits has made its way here.” He huffed.

“Mm. It is.”

“You know your class will start soon again. And I see you’ve been holding up with all of your duties with ease. As expected, of course, with willing students by your side.” Lan Qiren let out a chuckle, yet Lan Wangji did not join. He held his gaze for a moment.

“Mm.”

“Have they been pleasing you? With their results from today's exam?”

“They have been doing well. Willing. As you said.” Their steps made their way out of the patches of the lea, finding the familiar rough of the stepping stones to the veranda.

“It’s assuring to hear that. Soon enough, they will be sent off on night-hunts, yes? There are many of them, each year I see more and more.” There was a pause when his nephew did not add on. “There are lots of people in your life, Wangji. Lots of things to do, lots of sights to see.”

“I understand that well.”

Lan Qiren gave him a look. “Have you let go of him yet?”

Lan Wangji did not falter. “No. Never.”

His uncle sighed, he would be fruitless with his prodding every time. “It’s obvious to see that he will not come back. And if he does, what time could you possibly welcome him with? Wei Wuxian only cares for the distance you two share. His spirit and yours are two very different things, Wangji.”

His eyes lower. “Not all that different, if one looks closely.” An indirect retort, perhaps. It wasn’t just their visual differences that separated them from each other. But the worlds they grew in, the people they met, the way they talked, the way they conducted their lives. Yet, as far and wide as a soulmate goes, their hearts would share a degree of ideals and goals and possibly… matching emotions. If only he could find the right words to say that out loud so everyone could hear. But met with silence, Lan Qiren pursed his lips.

“Have you two kept contact with each other?”

“He sends letters.” _Until a week ago, when the regular ones that came by abruptly stopped._

“So it seems.” Lan Qiren stopped. They were just outside of the classroom. “I presume your students are waiting for you. I advise you to not let them wait for very long, you know how kids could get, yes?” And so Lan Wangji bows, making his way inside. Upon shutting the door, he knows he is already late for the four boys’ private lesson—Jin Ling, Ouyang Zizhen, Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui would be eager for their new lecture on talismans.

“I apologize for the delay. Please transcribe—” He flicked his gaze towards the seats in front of his own, taking in the woody sight. A staggered noise tickles in the back of his throat, threatening to come out at what he was witnessing. A singular papyrus paper flicked into the air, letting his eyes settle on the familiarity of the white color.

The classroom is empty.

The students are never late. He whirled his head from left to right, his palm dropping to his side. It would be slightly understandable if Lan Jingyi would be late, but the three others? Almost impossible. He let his eyes rest on the curve of the open window, jingling chimes the only source of noise. Where could the four have gone?

❀

“Go, go, go!”

“I’m trying!”

“They keep dropping, help me out here!”

“I’m dead. I’m so dead. Someone get my grave ready.”

The boys hustled and bustled from the meadow, making round trips from there all the way to the Jingshi, circling over to the back, and dumping their piles of flowers down below the open window. Half went to obtain the last of the blossoms, but the other half at Hanguang-Jun’s quarters started to panic, meet them halfway, bump into them, complain, whisper violently, then make a mess near the front where the bunnies were.

It was a jumble the Cloud Recesses would never allow, but they kept that thought at the back of their minds. “This way, stupid, not that way!”

“Oh gods, my hands are shaking. Wei Wuxian better appreciate this!” Sweeping the rest of the remains to the back of the building, the four boys exhaled audibly. The sweat off their brows were wiped away with the wash of relief flooding over them. “This would’ve gone much smoother if that bunny didn’t pop out of nowhere and spook us at the meadow.”

“You’re right. I thought it was Hanguang-Jun ready to beat our asses.” Jingyi shook the thought out of his head, sighing. The four gazed down at the beauty of the flowers picked. They were all surprisingly in good condition, and pleasing to the eye. A content sigh left their nostrils as they stood there, blanked out by the blossoms.

“I like the gardenias the best.” Sizhui pointed.

“Me too, me too.” Zizhen agreed. Jingyi and Jin Ling scoffed. A silence descended upon them again as a cool breeze floated by, weaving through their long hair.

Suddenly, Lan Jingyi gaped. “Oh, shit. Class!” The rest raised their heads in panic.

“Class!” We’re _late_! They all thought, as they split in different directions, running off before their minds could even wander to their possible punishment.

❀

As the days passed, letters flew by and the four boys went through every length to retrieve them before anyone else could. Wei Wuxian wrote of suggested locations, possible plans, and shared general ideas with the boys. They eventually wrote back when he asked them all a question, of course, sneaking into Sizhui’s room (because his was the safest from suspicious inspection from the elders) and all fighting over one calligraphy brush. They had planned for Sizhui to write the response, recording everyone's ideas one at a time, but that eventually fell into chaos when Jin Ling got impatient with Lan Jingyi’s idea that took too many paragraphs to express. “No one wants him to pop up out of the Cold Springs and drag Hanguang-Jun in with him while everyone watches! That’s totally embarrassing!”

“You don’t get the full picture, Jin Ling!” Jingyi had retorted, causing his friends to muffle the rest of his curses with their hands. It had been the dead of night when they wrote a response, so obviously his shout would have possibly alarmed all of the Cloud Recesses in a heartbeat.

“Well, your idea sounds risky,” Zizhen expressed to his golden-garbed friend. “To attack Hanguang-Jun in the dead of night, only to reveal himself after he’s convinced Senior Wei is actually an enemy to be killed? What kind of romance novels are you reading?”

“Well, when you put it that way it sounds bad, you jerk!” Jin Ling defended, shaking his hand for the calligraphy brush. “And I don’t read any romance novels!”

“Clearly.” Jingyi spat.

“I still think they should meet somewhere pretty. Like in the meadow, or down by the waterfall.” Zizhen crossed his arms, pleased with his own conclusion. “What do you think?” The three shrugged, mildly convinced that was a good idea, until Sizhui interjected after many moments of silence from him. He seemed to finally break out of a trance of concentration.

“That would be nice for them to meet somewhere where the sights are the most beautiful. But sometimes, I think sights with memories in them are equally as beautiful, and more personal in a way.”

“That sounds legit.” Jin Ling nodded. “We should ask him where he and Hanguang-Jun shared the best memories in the Cloud Recesses.” As they all nodded in agreement, Sizhui began writing out everything he needed to ask Senior Wei. The letter had been a jumble of messy paragraphs, characters in all different types of handwriting, a smudge here and there, but when it was finally sent off, a small perfection of an idea was withheld inside of it.

Or so they thought.

❀

“They don’t have any good memories at the Cloud Recesses?!” A fumed Lan Jingyi exclaimed the next day. “Just how are these people even friends?”

“This seems to be… strange.”

“It’s kind of understandable though, right? Didn’t they hate each other when they first met here?” Zizhen raised a brow. Rumors had come and gone over the past few years. Most students gossiped only to get new information about Hanguang-Jun, the man wrapped in mystery. (Along with his radiant aura of composedness, but kids didn’t care about those details as much as his possible secrets.) “At least that’s what I heard people say.”

“No, you’re definitely right about that.” Sizhui huffed out a small sigh, letting his eyes fall on the swirling of his tea, getting cold. If it weren’t for the bustling, upbeat roar of Caiyi Town filtering into his ears, the ambiance would have grown sullen thinking about their disappointing results. Wei Wuxian’s letter sat, unfolded neatly, on the table. He’d responded with glee, unsurprisingly:

_Hahahahaha! I love all of your ideas. Honestly, if you told me to scare Lan Zhan at the Cold Springs when I was fifteen, I definitely would without hesitation. And Zizhen, I like your idea about the final location, I will keep it in mind. But to answer your question, Sizhui, Lan Zhan and I have much more negative moments than positive at the Cloud Recesses. Like, when I first met him on the roof when I tried to smuggle Emperor's Smile inside. He gave me a cold rant on how I broke so many rules! Wah, he scolded me to no end! Then he started dueling with me! But don’t get me started on how he watched over me for days at the library pavilion when I had to rewrite lines hundreds of times. He wanted to fight me then, too! Ah, Lan Zhan… Oh! Also!_

He wrote quite a lot, getting carried away writing about each and every moment he shared with Hanguang-Jun. To be honest, it put a smile on Sizhui’s face. These were all such profound memories from many, many years ago, yet Senior Wei remembered every little second of what happened between them when they were so young. (He had also mentioned to Sizhui before that he had an awful memory. Was it a lie?) Letting his own jumble of thoughts swirl in his mind, his classmates went ahead and ordered what food they wanted.

The restaurant they were at was close to the water, the paper wall opened greatly to showcase the moving boats along Biling Lake. The sun glistened against the calm flow of water, sparkling every so often when the waves slid upwards in its smooth rhythm. “Well, we’re at a slump.” Zizhen announced, shifting his weight back on his cushion. “If they don’t share good memories here, then how is it supposed to be special?”

A murmuring of agreement sounded from the boys until Sizhui spoke up. “They may not be good memories, but at the same time… I think they are.”

“What do you mean?” Jin Ling didn’t get it.

“They met on the roof. They learned of each other. They made a first impression. Everything started at the Cloud Recesses.” He smiled at the realization. “It may have not been pleasant at the time, but when they might look back at it, it’s laughable. It’s laughable because they didn’t know back then how much they would influence each other's lives. At the start, no one knows a thing.” The boys listened to him intently, the food dropping from their chopsticks at the sudden rant. “So when reflecting upon such a childish time with newfound feelings towards each other, I think it’s kind of beautiful. I’m sure Hanguang-Jun would understand.”

“Wow,” Lan Jingyi settled back, staring down at the mapo tofu left sitting on his plate. “I think I get it now. We should get around to responding to Senior Wei.” The other three nodded as they began to eat at their food, letting Sizhui’s words sink into them. To be sentimental was a thing for children, lots would say—something for the night to only bare witness to. But the more the boys thought about it, the more valid it seemed to be for adults to be sentimental. _What a day off. I’m using my brain more than I planned to today,_ Jingyi thought.

“Wait a sec,” Jin Ling abruptly snatched the letter near Sizhui. Scanning over the paragraphs, his eyes landed on one last sentence. Hah! So his eyes didn’t deceive him. There, on the very bottom, they had missed a line. “Look… it says…”

_Are there black bunnies at the Cloud Recesses?_

“Black bunnies?” Zizhen scrunched his nose. “I’ve never seen one here since I arrived for lectures.”

“I haven’t, either.” Jin Ling pursed his lips. “But why would he ask that? Is he planning to use the black bunnies for something in his plan?”

“It seems so.” Lan Jingyi confirmed. “But where on earth are we going to find a black bunny? Or a handful of them?” They all thought. No one had seen them at the Cloud Recesses before, only ones of pristine white fur.

“Well, we’re already far enough from the Cloud Recesses, now that we're in Caiyi Town. Maybe we could ask around and see if anyone else has seen a bunny?” Zizhen suggested. Everyone nodded, settling down to eat first. They would go on their mini adventure once they were done. Settling into a brief conversation, something flashed in the corner of Jin Ling’s eye. He snapped his head over to the open wall, seeing the busy road and the water far out. Nothing. But as he let his eyes rest upon the surface where the people’s shoes met the ground as his eyes widened.

“No fucking way…” He murmured to himself. His friends perked their heads to face him in curiosity when they saw his distorted expression. Tracing their line of sight to where Jin Ling was currently staring, their mouths gaped open.

And if by mere coincidence, there was a singular black bunny sitting obediently near the opening in the wall. Whether it be gods, spirits or demons, someone had heard their pleas and granted them their wish. But being them, they planned to run before they could walk. “Bunny!” They all shouted, startling a few patrons nearby. The people were not to worry about; it was the small fur ball hopping away in fright that they cared about. It took a second to register what happened. Then, all at once, “Chase after it!”

The boys leaped from their cushioned seats, storming out in a huge pack towards the middle of the street, tumbling over passerbys. Paying for their food did not come across their minds as they gathered their composure, running after the bunny. It was a wild goose chase. Chaos erupted from the street as Sizhui muttered apologies, Jin Ling aggressively bumped shoulders with many people, and the other two tried to regain their balance every time someone passed them by. Quips of kids shouting, “Excuse me!” and “Sorry!” and the occasional, “Ugh, move!” filtered into the air.

Stall owners craned their necks to see what chaos ensued down the long path. One woman dropped her basket of fresh fruits once glued to her hip after one had accidentally bumped into her. Half of the boys tumbled, frustrated at the sudden attack of rolling apples and oranges. The other half lead the way, out and away from the core of the town. As the clacking of shoes hustled away after some time, only then did the people’s concern die down. Those were cultivators for crying out loud, why would they be as reckless as to run around in a busy street chasing a bunny? Oh, the reasons they could not speak aloud…

“Ah, ah! Come back bunny! Over here!” Lan Jingyi tried to coo. They made their way up a path moreover near the pastures, long grass shooting high from the ground, wheat blowing steadily in the wind. Cicadas buzzed as birds flew by, yet the bunny seemed to outrun all wildlife at every corner it hopped at. Trying not to trip over his own robes, he held them up, feeling the gradual slip of his forehead ribbon. He hadn’t tied it properly this morning.

“Ugh, if we stop chasing it, we’ll lose it, but if we keep chasing it, it’ll just run away from us!” Jin Ling fumed, huffing and puffing beside the Lan’s.

“We’ll have to corner it so it can’t escape!” Zizhen exclaimed. Sizhui motioned upwards.

“The Cloud Recesses!”

It was a simple thing to declare aloud. Sure, the idea was to chase the bunny into the Cloud Recesses, corner it, grab it, and store it somewhere (Sizhui’s room!). Easier said than done. What they didn’t think of was the three-thousand (four thousand) rules carved on a grand tablet, the Wall of Discipline, that they just passed by on the way past the gates. Not one word of it had registered in their minds as they sprinted so fast, nearby cultivators had only seen their whizzing shadow whirl forwards. As the cicadas turned into drifting flowers and the surface on their feet a stretching bridge, Jin Ling pushed forward, launching from his heels all the way to the balls of his feet. “Wait! Wait! I think I got i—”

“What are you all doing?”

Silence hung in the air like a noose. Well, before they all tumbled into each other.

Sizhui, Zizhen, Jingyi and Jin Ling toppled on to each other like falling stones as their train collided into one form, tangled on the ground. Racing to get up, they scrambled out of the disheveled mess of white robes and tilted ribbons to straighten. His Excellency, in his esteemed presence, faced them all with narrowed eyes. One would be lucky if they did not have a mini heart attack right then and there. “H-Hanguang-Jun…” Lan Jingyi stuttered.

“I… uh… we…” No words seemed to leave Zizhen’s mouth. Their eyes traced the ground, seeing that the bunny had scampered behind Lan Wangji, as if using him as a shield from the four boys.

“Hanguang-Jun, we apologize for the disturbance,” Sizhui started, leaning forward for a formal salute. “We just… um, we were chasing something.”

“Something.” He echoed, prying him to continue.

“A… bunny?” Jin Ling cringed. Lan Wangji gave them a blank stare. The same one as always, only this time there was a hint of uncertainty, or maybe it was a regression of unamusement. Nonetheless, it still frightened the poor boys facing him. Without a moment to explain further, Hanguang-Jun dismissed the situation completely, at their mercy. However, the boys did not understand his hesitant silence.

“Hanguang-Jun, I acknowledge that we have broken many rules just now. Please give us any punishment you think would pardon our wrongdoings. We will gladly accept anything!” Jingyi whimpered, going on his hands and knees, palms already scratched in hatches from hitting the bridge’s stone. But before Lan Wangji could dismiss them completely, the rest of them also bent down on their hands and knees.

“You all have been panicked for a few days now.”

Their hearts dropped. “Wh-what?” Jin Ling denied bashfully.

“Late to class.” Is his point one. “Running off.” Point two.

“Uh…” Zizhen is trembling in his boots. Sizhui touches his forehead ribbon to the ground, inhaling sharply. They brace for something physical, even though they would never think of Hanguang-Jun as someone who would inflict actual harm on his students.

“Is there anything threatening you all?” He then asks, concern laced in his low tone. The students were surprised. Instead of declaring a considerable punishment, he had asked if they were safe. He asked if there was something bothering them. Sizhui, wanting to ease his worry, stood up rapidly.

“No, Hanguang-Jun. It’s just that…” He gazed at his friends. “We’re all hanging out with each other. And… doing a lot of things together these days.”

“Together?”

“Yes.” They all nodded in unison.

Lan Wangji paused, his eyes changing. “I see.” Being together with friends. It was something kids do. Of course. In his own reserved state of mind, it was not the first thing he thought about when coming to a conclusion about their behavior. He was never together with anyone but his family, the students, and just maybe… “Fifty lines.” He couldn’t blame them for merrymaking, at least just this once. It was the least amount of lines to write he’d offered as punishment before. The students were grateful, but not boastful. As they filed into the classroom, Jingyi had stealthily swooped the bunny in his arms, stuffing it underneath his long sleeve.

❀

The night howled in gentle zephyrs, light chimes warming the edges of a skillfully crafted crescent hanging high. A navy night, perhaps black, dripped its own ink-written script across the horizon. The Jingshi was a mere painting in its vast portrait. The flowers, delicate characters. An evening was once thought the most soothing in one’s own presence. A time of silent reflection, a whisper of vulnerability. Yet one who whispers and is not heard… could Lan Wangji claim the evening truly serene?

A voice is heard. A single one, low and melodic.

His fingers dance around strings, ones of the heart perhaps, or ones that measure distance, to as far as he could hold within his grasp. His digits maneuver smoothly against the tight pull of them, the strum of the guqin rich with each silky pluck. The guqin’s music: his own voice, the words he could never say aloud, manifest with meaning as they hang in the night air. No one else could hear his confessions. Half of him thought he was at a loss. He radiated a blinding blue and white, cascading in a flurry of shimmers, yet his loss for words dulled the true gleam of his heart. The guqin translated it only for those who would dare to understand.

He paused, his fingers hovering in thin air. It wasn’t much of a chill that ran up his pearly sleeve, but the last winter in his mind that trapped him in a chilling blizzard. A numbness overtook him as suddenly he saw the Jingshi doors open wide.

The snow that once fell softly at the threshold came in sprinkles, much like his memories of that day. Jin Guangyao was still scheming, yet none of the cultivation world mattered when he saw that black, skinny form lean against the wall. He had just confessed his weighted words to him, one’s he had promised someone that one day, you will declare them in tears.

“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji’s gaze softened. His companion, shaking off the pellets of snow, slowly turned towards him, glancing at the snowy figure of his soulmate. A smile flirted with the edges of his lips. The ebony figure made its way near him.

“Lan Zhan…” It was always a whisper when he spoke his name. They stared at each other. “It’s different seeing you without your hairpieces. They’re always so intricate.”

He was flustered, his lips tight. “Do you prefer it on?”

“I like this.” His hands were on his lap, much like a kid, as he laughed.

“I like this too.” Lan Wangji had interpreted his words differently. He liked this situation. Wei Wuxian noticed this as he giggled again, much to the latter’s enjoyment.

“Lan Zhan, you’re so cute. How is my poor heart going to handle this?”

“Will take care of your heart.”

“Ah! There you go again! Lan Zhan…” He pouted. His companion gave him a small smile. It made Wei Wuxian’s poor heart skip beats. The silence that accompanied after was heavy. There was still so much to discuss between them. So much to confess. “How will I ever repay you?”

“No need.” Lan Wangji whispered back. “Wei Ying alive is enough.” And Wei Ying’s face was for sure not thick enough to handle such words from someone such as Lan Zhan. He thought he might cry. Scoffing the urge away, his throat still tightened.

“You’re too good, you know that?” He never knew anyone better. He wanted to hide his shy gaze, let his eyes wander off the paper-thin walls and delicacies of the Jingshi, yet he couldn’t. They were stuck to Lan Wangji’s—a trance much like a beautiful fantasy that surrounded them in invisible colors. A small tug lifted the Lan’s lips as he looked upon his love.

Their foreheads bumped together. A ribbon sunk into Wei Wuxian’s soft skin, but he didn’t feel it at all, nor did he care. Right now, he shared a warmth the snow could not survive in with Lan Wangji. It was enough… it was always enough for both of them. They sat there, breathing one anothers air.

“Wei Ying—”

“Lan Zhan—” They paused as Wei Wuxian giggled at the coincidence. “You go first.”

“Are you fatigued?” He was. He was greatly. But to miss a moment with Lan Zhan… he could not admit it, or else the latter would force him to sleep. So when he shook his head as a no, Lan Wangji’s eyes beated. “Are you cold?”

“Yes.” It was almost immediate. It wasn’t a lie, he was, in fact, cold. Without a golden core to warm him with a swirl of spiraling spiritual energy, one could only shiver within sleepless nights. “Lan Zhan, could you…” And with an unspoken question, Lan Wangji does what Wei Wuxian wants. Firm arms wrap gently around his shivering body, pulling him closer until he is completely on top of him. Wei Wuxian gladly enjoys the pull as he stifles down another giggle, wrapping his arms easily, as if second nature, around Lan Zhan’s shoulders. Their foreheads never separate.

“Anything for Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan suppresses the great urge to kiss him right then and there. They were so close, if only his will allowed it, he would make that leap. But he stared quizzically at his lips, a small frustration burning upon his tongue. The temptation drove him mad. Do not be selfish with him. Do not ever.

“Lan Zhan, what’s wrong?” Wei Wuxian frowned, tilting his head. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.” His voice was hoarse.

Wei Wuxian gave him a smile, bright with flashing teeth. “I’ll trust you on that.” That smile could freeze the blizzard outside and melt it all at the same time. But then, it faded. “I know the world is in turmoil right now. What we have is still unsolved yet…” He lowered his gaze. “I can’t help but think of one thing right now, selfish as it is.”

“I am the same.”

“Really?” His eyes brightened.

“Mm.”

There was a longing in Wei Wuxian’s next words. They were shy, barely audible. “If I share my confessions with you… would you listen?”

“Always.”

“Would you share yours?”

Lan Wangji searched his eyes, those glistening dark eyes that stared right back at his. “If Wei Ying dares to listen.”

“I will!” He nodded, leaning back.

“Mark your words.”

Wei Wuxian laughed, expressing how Lan Wangji was so cute all over again. “Saying things like this… ah, my face has grown thinner, has it? Don’t make me feel embarrassed when you look at me like that, Lan Zhan… my heart can’t take it!”

“Should I look away?”

“No! No…” Wei Wuxian stills his head by placing a palm under his jaw. “I just like teasing you. You can look at me, don’t worry…” There are a few moments of comfortable silence before he speaks up again. “Lan Zhan… before I tell you what I want to say, could you… play that song?”

Lan Wangji knows exactly what he’s talking about—the song he hummed to him at Xuanwu cave all those years ago. _Wangxian_ , an unspoken title. “Mm. Of course.” He cradled Wei Wuxian’s waist tighter against his body until the latter curled on top of him, his head resting at the crook of his neck. Wei Wuxian squirmed comfortably, letting his hands fall on Lan Wangji’s outermost robes.

And so the guqin played, the mellow sound filtering into the air by Lan Wangji’s soft plucks at the strings. He is a master at it. Slow and careful, strict when need be. Every note bounced off his fingers in an elegant grace, one as the admirable Hanguang-Jun with his natural skill. Wei Wuxian let his eyes flutter closed at the beauty of the noise, breathing in Lan Wangji’s entrancing scent of soft sandalwood. Oh, what he’d do to make time stop for the both of them at this very moment.

The snow outside would continue to fall. The guqin would continue to play. Lan Wangji would continue to cradle him in his arms throughout the night. And as the last notes of confessions hum in the air, a silence quickly follows.

“Have you ever made a selfish wish?” Wei Wuxian murmurs.

“Mm.”

“Something immaterial, just impossible?” Lan Wangji listens to what Wei Wuxian has to say. “I want… time to stop. I want this moment to last forever.”

“This moment.” Lan Wangji repeats, his voice a shudder. “To cherish… a single moment…”

“I’ve never wanted to do such a thing before in my whole lifetime.” Wei Wuxian confessed, a smile tugging at his lips. “To cherish a moment with someone. I… I just…” He made his way up, facing Lan Wangji in his lap. His grip on him was still secured at his waist, tight and reassuring. And then he whispers, “I want you so badly it’s killing me.”

Lan Wangji watches the sad smile form on Wei Wuxian’s lips, his eyes a glistening pink. They blossom with newfound tears lining the edges of his lashes. The one holding him is so happy. His heart bloomed in a spiral of many different colors, awaiting the right words to spew out of his mouth. “I want you…” Everything he’s ever wanted to say burst in ribbons like streaks of clouds over guqin strings and endless frosts over snow-blanketed hills. _I want you. I love you._ The words he was so afraid of, which haunted him in endless nights in seclusion… they were bound to be real and spoken.

“Yes, I want you.” Wei Wuxian manages to chuckle through his watery words. “I’ve always wanted you, just you… it can’t be anyone but you.”

“It can’t be anyone else but Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji echoes, his eyes sincere. “Only Wei Ying. Just Wei Ying.” Wei Wuxian’s glistening eyes finally released their tears as they rolled down his cheeks, capturing every trail of words Lan Wangji avowed. He still smiles for the man in front of him, his hands trembling against his robes.

“I’ve loved you in all my lifetimes, I’ve loved you then and now.”

“I’ve waited for Wei Ying. Over ten years.” This makes Wei Wuxian sniffle and cry even more. “I’ve loved you for a long, long time.” Then, Lan Wangji smiled. The latter’s tears streamed.

“Lan Zhan…” He managed. But Lan Zhan did not speak, only wiped his tears with his thumbs ever so gently. “I don’t deserve you at all. You’re too good, just too good to me. Even though you’re not so good at steadying my heart.” He managed to joke, leaning against Lan Wangji’s open palm cupping his face. “Look, I’m a mess because of you…”

“I will take that blame.” His small smile is still there, his eyes glossing over his love.

“Lan Zhan, my love…” He breathed, tasting the words upon his tongue. It was so natural, one savored with his deepest emotions. “My love, my Lan Zhan.”

“My Wei Ying.” He brushed the pad of his thumb over the surface of his skin. That night, amidst the hazy stares and the streams of tears, blossomed something beneath the snow's surface. The guqin played for his words, and Wei Ying had listened. Lan Wangji had grasped the whisper of vulnerability with Wei Wuxian as they both ripped off the seal over his heart. He was the only person he would want to hear such confessions with. The night was truly serene. What happened next was a blur to Lan Wangji. Had he remembered correctly, the vision wouldn’t be as hazy.

A cold shiver ran up his sleeve as the shadow of Wei Wuxian descended upon him. He knew if he tried to grasp it, he would feel nothing. What was here with him was just the strings, awaiting another mindless pluck. It was spring now, leading into summer. The chills he felt were the essence of a man far, far away from him and his grasp. _Do not be selfish with him._ He took a breath sharply; miles of mountains, terrain, cities and bodies of water flashed in his mind. The world was always beautiful, the Cloud Recesses no exception.

If he could only see the world with him.

Straightening himself behind his desk, he fluttered his eyes closed. He was static, unmoving for the remainder of the night. The whispers of his mind threatened to fade away until he caught the slight scent of flowers behind him. He opened his eyes, a silhouette dancing behind paper. It was feathered, hesitant, and warm like the glow of candles. “H-Hanguang-Jun?”

“Come in.”

The silhouette obeyed, sliding open the doors of the Jingshi. In the cusp of toasty lights, Sizhui’s delicate frown obscured his features beneath the flicker of flame. Shadows warped in a rhythmic smog until he lowered his head, salute deep and apologetic. “Hanguang-Jun. I apologize for walking in so late into the evening. I know it is far from appropriate.”

“Mm.” Lan Wangji was curious.

“I’ve been restless. If you do not mind, I came to seek an answer… if you have it.” Sizhui murmured. “And if it does not disturb your time.”

“Of course. Sit down.” Lan Wangji ushered. He did so. For many moments, it was now Sizhui at a loss for words. His expressions were always so pronounced, a hint of worry and it was written all over his face. Casting his gaze downwards, His Excellency did not hesitate to pry him. Torment in the mind is an unbearable type of pain. “Is there something bothering you?”

He pursed his lips. “Hanguang-Jun… have you ever been restless, for no reason?” It was a vague question. What he was trying to imply was unclear. “Or, you can’t stop thinking about one thing. Your heart is pounding in your chest and you can’t find out why?”

“Mm.” He answered truthfully.

“A-And, it’s not because you’re scared from a night-hunt, or you’re anxious about a test, or you fear you’ll embarrass yourself in some way. It’s an… exceeding happiness?”

“Yes.” Lan Wangji muttered. “It is moments like that, when you are bound to feel more human.”

“Right!” Sizhui smiled. “But, I can’t help but think… and I do not mean to question the rules in any way, so forgive me beforehand but…” He paused. “Out of all the things I’ve learned in my life, from the rules on the Wall of Discipline, from the pages I’ve studied in every lecture… I feel like there are still rules in life that are left unwritten… more important ones.”

“You must seek out these rules yourself,” he spoke low. “And you may realize later, that these things are not rules. They are something your heart contains in itself. Whatever path you may choose to walk on, whatever rules are added to the wall later on, these things in your heart will never change.”

“Even if the things in my heart pertain to another person?” Sizhui smiled sadly.

“If what you feel is strong, it will always be there.”

“Hanguang-Jun. Have you felt that?” He leaned in. “That exceeding happiness?” He saw the desperate look overcome his student’s eyes.

“Mm.”

Sizhui knew he felt it. His mind flashed to the time with Wen Ning, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji on the road. That truly was a happy moment—he saw it in his elder’s eyes. The way he looked at Senior Wei. It made him happy knowing he was going to help announce his arrival, special for his teacher. But _their_ feelings of happiness… It was something extraordinary that he wanted to know how to feel. “I’ve never felt that way for anyone.” He murmured. “How does it feel?”

“Feel?” Lan Wangji felt himself falter at the slightest. The feeling was ice cold, betraying and ruthless. The feeling was hot and blistering, burning in his throat. The feeling choked him, opened his heart, beat at him, added color to his music and sing-song him into a torment that felt awfully bittersweet. The feeling was a warm touch on his skin, a caress and whisper of devotion. It twisted his thoughts, painted the space in his view red and black, yet white and blue. Even to this day, he would never formulate such words to describe the complexity. “I wouldn’t trade the feeling for anything else in the world.”

“Do we all… deserve to feel that? At least once?”

“Everyone is equal in happiness’s eyes at least once.” Lan Wangji told. “If there is anything we share with history and the people before us, it is the ability to love.”

“Love?”

“Mm.” The fire flicked in his eyes. “I’ve learned that after many, many years.”

❀

It was the day before Wei Wuxian was set to arrive at the Cloud Recesses. The boys were frantically setting up for the big day. Another letter would arrive, but they just did not know when. The past few days their responses got longer, the butterflies got bigger, and the theatrics of their plan were all coming down smoothly. There was only one thing left to do at this point, and that was to make sure Lan Wangji would abide willingly to their pleas without suspicion.

“What design should I do?” Jin Ling slumped on the patches of grass, head hanging high. The hill’s edge they were on provided a solace view of the Cloud Recesses, yet his eyes were fixated on one lonely cloud above his head.

“A golden dragon with wings of a butterfly.” Zizhen suggested.

“You think I can draw that? The most I can draw is, like, a bunny.”

“Then draw a bunny, stupid.” Jingyi playfully retorted.

“Aiya, I didn’t ask for you guys’ attitude, I just need to draw something interesting!” It was that time of the lecturing week when they would all learn how to make paper lanterns. All of the students were outside, basking in the early afternoon sun with calligraphy brushes meddled in between their fingers. With all of his classmates already on the job, doing their best to paint whatever comes to mind, Jin Ling huffed in his spot with no solid ideas.

“Why don’t you draw your sect's symbol? Sparks Amidst Snow?” Sizhui suggested, lifting his head up to face him. The Jin Sect’s motif was a white peony, blooming white around borders of gold. Thinking about it, he decided that his friend indeed had a good idea. The students were all together, a chatter softly filtering into the air as two white-robed figures slowly made their way up the vast hill. The wind blew at their hair, yet one’s metal hair pins stayed in place steady. The students peered their heads over, rising quickly to greet the two in a salute.

Lan Qiren nodded as Lan Wangji watched, his eyes tracing over each and every one of them. “Hanguang-Jun, you made time to watch us?” Lan Jingyi’s curiosity took the best of him.

“Mm. I did.” He nodded. All the students seemed to shudder in jubilation, knowing Hanguang-Jun came to praise their work, even if it might seem trivial. The boys relaxed in their spots, painting various designs while the two elders conversed with each other quietly. Jingyi seemed to outline a picture of a horse while Zizhen drew Jingyi, a side-portrait that was sloppy enough to get a laugh or two out. Sizhui continued to paint various clouds until a batting glow trailed along the peripherals of his vision.

“Hahaha… Jingyi, look!”

“Wh— do I actually look like that?!” Jingyi huffed. “Or is it your bad drawing?”

“Definitely the first one.” Jin Ling stuck his tongue out as Sizhui scrutinized the sky ahead of him. What was the wisp of light coming from? The sun shone in even rays on the field, no part denied by the clouds. This twinkle was different, possibly hard and bronze.

It was then when he eyed his two seniors, hands behind their backs, when his pupils dilated. “Uh… um, guys?”

“You think I’m ugly? You should look at yourself, _Jin Ling!_ ”

“Why do you always say my name like that, Jingyi? You’re so weird.”

“Guys!” Sizhui bat the sides of their shoulders with little result. It was only when he lifted his elbow, knocking Jin Ling’s own when a signal had come. Black ink splattered in thick dots against the half-drawn Sparks Amidst Snow, bleeding into the thin material of the flattened lantern. The flower, once carved in minor detail, was now almost fully submerged in tar-like liquid. His mouth gaped. Jingyi was pleased. Zizhen cackled. “Can you pay attention?”

“My beautiful flower…” Jin Ling uttered, most likely on the verge of tears. But amidst the sorrow, everyone flicked their interest to Lan Wangji, standing nobly on the other side of the hill. And all at once, their faces contorted. “Oh, gods…” A familiar shimmering butterfly had made its way up the hill on the path long to the Jingshi. If either Lan Wangji or Lan Qiren would see it and open it, they would for sure be killed in an instant. Plans, ruined. Reputation, soiled. Luckily, it was behind them both, fluttering aimlessly in tight-knit circles. One move and it could signal one or the other’s attention. From the distance, it looked like an obvious talisman waiting for one to open it—for sure neither of the elders would think it’s a simple seal one of the students released. “What do we do? What do we do?!” Jin Ling shoved Sizhui back and forth violently from an odd angle on his shoulders, all while hissing in his ear.

“Do we distract them? Perform a song?”

“Why is that your first thought, Jingyi?”

“I don’t know! People like music?” Lan Jingyi was hopelessly lost, Zizhen had realized. In fact, most of the time, he _was_ lost.

“We should just ask them a question, but don’t make it too stupid.” Jin Ling suggested, huddling them all close on the ground. Their lanterns were easily forgotten, along with leaking inkwells. “And by we, I mean Sizhui.” The boy mentioned sighed at this. “Then, once we ask, they’ll walk forward without looking back. Easy. Then, Zizhen jumps up, captures the butterfly, and boom: we’re safe.”

“That sounds pretty good, Jin Ling. Didn’t know you had it in you.”

“Thank yo— wait, what’s that supposed to mean?” He whisper-shouted. The other students perked their heads up at the aggressive whispering nearby when they noticed that four of their classmates were huddled in a suspicious-looking circle close to the grass. Perhaps they were inspecting a rare bug. It would be outrageous to find out they were actually scheming on how to distract their two elders to leave their location, for whatever odd reasons they had. Certainly the thought of ‘the-four-collecting-strange-butterfly-talismans-from-the-Yiling-Patriarch-Wei-Wuxian-in-order-to-surprise-Lan-Wangji-in-the-long-run’ had never crossed their minds when eying the circle.

“Okay, okay, okay. Let’s focus,” Sizhui calmed them down. “I’ll go ask the question, you guys just look casual, alri—”

“Ah! Ah!” Lan Jingyi stuttered out of nowhere, no word able to come out of his mouth. The boys shot their heads up to see Lan Wangji tilting slightly towards the side, most likely to get a better view of Lan Qiren. However, the butterfly was just a smidge away from his own peripheral vision—one glance to the left and their whole master plan would be shattered to pieces.

The boys panicked, clutching at each other. Their scheme had gone to dust.

“Oh—oof!” Hoppling upwards, they made a loud fuss as they tripped over their lanterns and brushes, causing many eyes to glue on them. The embarrassment not registering in their psyche, they laughed nervously once Jin Ling accidentally tumbled over onto Sizhui’s feet. All of them helped him up as their broken smiles caught the attention of the two the most important. Lan Wangji did not talk, his expression held all the attitude they could comprehend. Lan Qiren’s frown deepened, alert. “What are you boys doing?”

“O-oh!” The butterfly rose higher into the air, it’s fading shimmers trailing behind it. The four boys’ eyes were glued to the bronzing talisman ascending in the sky as the two elders went to follow their line of sight. Realizing this, they lowered their gazes quickly and waved their hands frantically. “W-w-w-wait! No, no, no!”

Their heads snapped down, confused. “What is going on?” Lan Qiren snarled.

“...” Lan Wangji straightened.

“Uh… uh…” Zizhen mumbled, turning to his friends. He should’ve known it’d be useless to even look at them. “We…”

“Well, the thing is—”

“We just stood up, it’s really not that complicated—”

“Well, I mean, it’s just that we…”

“Want to perform something for you!” Jingyi interjected grandly, waving his hands suggestively in the air. Sizhui slapped his forehead, the metal of his ribbon sinking lower in his skin. Zizhen sighed deeply, an alternative way of blurting he gave up. Jin Ling actually muttered that he gave up.

“A performance?” Lan Qiren narrowed his eyes. “What kind of performance? Wangji, have you been rehearsing something with them as of late?”

“No.”

Anyone could see the visible cringe run up the fours’ bodies. “Yes… a performance… what kind of performance is it, Jingyi?” Jin Ling hissed through his teeth, tilting his head and flashing widened eyes at his favorite Lan.

“A performance of a lifetime!” He boasted, wanting to end himself. “J-just watch, uh, hold on, we have to get ready… if you could just give us one sec—” He cut himself off, grabbing Sizhui, Zizhen and Jin Ling by the backs of their robes to huddle once again in a suspicious circle. “Sizhui, do something!”

“Me?! Why does it always have to be me? I’m not always going to be here to fix your mistakes, Jingyi.” The boys uttered together, arguing in hushed tones (which were actually just hostile retorts to each other back and forth) until a decision was not made. Sizhui prematurely sweeped himself out of the circle and saluted to his awaiting elders. “Jingyi was mistaken.”

“What? Speak up, Sizhui, we cannot hear you.”

“Jingyi was mistaken, our performance would not be complete with our guqin’s and other instruments. We would have to perform it for you at another time.” They did not hear him. Both taking steps forward, they maneuvered their way close enough to the group; Zizhen could trace his eyes over the stitched details on Lan Wangji’s outermost robe, the embroidery a shifting blue which was a symmetric pleasure to the eye. Sizhui had repeated himself again as the other three tilted their heads to see the butterfly shift forward.

Jingyi, taking action, scurried off to the side, grabbed it, and shoved it in the folds of his sleeve, giving the others an assuring thumbs-up. Sighs of relief exhaled in the wind.

Wei Wuxian had better be thankful.

❀

_I’ll be arriving tomorrow. I can’t wait to see what you all have set up. In fact, I can’t wait to see you guys even more! I promise, once I settle in, I’ll take you guys to go on night-hunts every day. I’ll make sure to wave off your absences from class. Alright, maybe not every day, but you get what I mean. Talking about that, do you guys really have class every single day still? When I was studying at the Cloud Recesses, I got kicked out of class on the second day! Then I got whipped for drinking alongside Lan Zhan! Then I punched this egotistical peacock in the face because… Aiya, don’t listen to me. I’m a bad influence._

His letters were always a mess. He seemed to have so much he wanted to say that he spilled everything he thought out on tens of talisman. The boys would laugh every time they read them aloud together, though. Senior Wei was a wildcard that one would not see too often at the Cloud Recesses—not at all, in actuality. If Gusu was white and blue, Wei Wuxian was the rest of the blinding rainbow, crossing a chroma line through everyone’s lives. The reason how he charmed Lan Wangji, however, was still a mystery to them. Perhaps they would never find out how exactly he did it. But that would be a story for another time.

Eventually, tomorrow did come. The morning sun awakened, the evening color bleeding in the sky. Over the horizon, a familiar black figure had crossed the grand hill over to Gusu, a silhouette everyone awaited the presence of. He came tumbling in, his donkey companion, Lil’ Apple, trotted wildly at the sight of fresh apples in Sizhui’s hands. They had gathered at dusk, when the stars would blink in their first appearances and the moon would wish them whitened greetings. The sun, casting its dusty purple and magenta hues, eventually lowered into sleep. The boys, being the kids they were, sparked in a new energy once the sun went down. After a while of bubbly greetings, finalizing plans, and getting into position, the bunch were ready to surprise the glowering Lan Wangji himself.

The Cloud Recesses was quiet. Not even a chime jingled.

His Excellency would be done with his meetings anytime now, which made the boys more nervous than they should be. As they placed down their final props, they scrambled together, huddling in giggling fits. Zizhen tried to slap them out of their trance, but it didn’t work, resulting in more nervous laughter filtering into the night. “Hanguang-Jun could be coming any moment now. Should we leave it? I think we’re all done.”

“We are.” Sizhui’s eyes glowed at the sight. The Jingshi, emitting its own regal gleam, glimmered under the night. What would happen next was not up to them. “Let’s go, yeah?” And quietly, the four made their way up to the spot where it would all tie together.

❀

Exhausting wouldn’t even be the closest word to describe Lan Wangji’s day. Clan and sect leaders from all around had gathered in the Great Hall, discussing trivial matters and complaining about petty incidents. So Lan Wangji sat composed, listening to all of their problems and carrying out orders if needed be. Some even went as far as yelling about these matters, causing a chaos in the Hall that was not pleasant to the residents of Gusu. It seemed as if the whole world that afternoon had gathered at the Cloud Recesses. Everyone in the world but one person.

Lan Wangji waved off his thoughts. Trekking towards the Jingshi, he tried his best not to snag off his hairpieces on the way. It was not close to nine, yet he was already slumped, but his posture nor his face ever showed it.

The sweet scent of jasmine lingered in a calming aroma in the air. He stepped a booted foot forward, only to retract it back. The Jingshi sat just at the head of a winding trail of white flowers, which led the opposite way he had come from. The flora peppered the ground in a neat row, spanning endless miles it seemed, as he tilted his head out to the farthest he could see. It twisted past a tree and ran out of sight. Curious. Should he follow the path? See what awaited him on the other end? A woosh of bending paper crinkled near his feet. Turning, he saw a little figure of a paper man sitting on the head steps of the Jingshi, posed comically in a suggestive way. Once his eyes met the little paper’s head, it waved.

Lan Wangji bent down, his gaze intense. “Are my students planning something?” He knew the occasional paper figure would float about the classroom at rare times when the kids thought he was not looking. The figure would mess around, send notes, and disturb class for a quick laugh. He knew of it for the first time when Wei Wuxian had used it on him during class all those years ago. A shame the correlation did not punctuate in his head.

But the paper man only brought a rounded arm to his face, as if to mimic a finger going to the lips. _It’s a secret!_ Then, it waved its small arm, ushering Lan Wangji to follow the trail of flowers. “You do know it is late.” After a few tugs at the end of his robes, it had managed to convince him. “Alright. Let us be careful then.” He clutched Bichen, his frosty blade in its gleaming scabbard, and set foot on his journey. Unaware of the paperman going afloat on a differing path, Lan Wangji’s eyes settled on the details of each delicate petal.

Gardenias. Magnolias. Jasmine. Camellias. Dahlias. Chrysanthemums.

Rows of all white flowers, all immaculate and gently placed on the ground. He admired each petal and their grown swirls as he walked past them. His outermost robe, almost three feet of a train, trailed behind him, dragging against the soft grass below. The flowers remained untouched in a neat line. Their ivory florets were elegant, but none in comparison to Lan Wangji and his own chiffon robes. The moon above, in all its glory, dulled at the mere sight of His Excellency. The signia of swirling clouds just above his eyes completed such a cultivated aura.

The night was still young and full of potential. With every slight step he took, an overwhelming curiosity strengthened. What must this be about? He swore he heard the sounds of a tune, soft and melodic run in the night. Perhaps charms jingling under roof shingles.

Basking in the sight, he was correct.

The flowers trailed along the veranda all the way to the zen rock garden near the outermost wall to the Cloud Recesses. Wind chimes rang in the empty air. Lan Wangji gazed up at the watchtower. There, sitting on the wooden railings, waved the paperman. Its tiny arm jut out to its side, averting Lan Wangji’s gaze to the top of the wall, where the roof curved and dipped. And there, sitting in the middle, was a jar of Emperor's Smile, much like a prop.

_“Breaking through wards. A violation of Lan clan principals.”_

_“...Huh?”_

_“Who comes at night should not be allowed in until seven o’clock. Two violations of Lan clan principles.” Wei Wuxian sat dumbfounded. “Unauthorized carrying of liquor. Three violations of Lan clan principles.”_

Lan Wangji had caught the infamous Wei Wuxian sneaking in during the dead of night, carrying two swelled jars of Emperor's Smile on the hilt of his sword. His eyes widened, seeing the white pot of glossed clay sit so slump on the roof. That moment, that first encounter, was an endless amount of years ago. Yet Lan Wangji remembered every second of it: right after, they had begun a duel, the moon just like now. Wei Wuxian had ended up drinking on the roof anyway, and Lan Wangji silenced him with a charm the latter despised.

Amidst the fateful encounter, one that began inadequate, the memory had burned magical. It was the beginning of something no one had suspected.

The paperman seemed to giggle in its own prancing way as Lan Wangji felt a shiver of hope run up his back. But wherever the figure went, it vanished again in the thin air. He would have to continue about the trail of flowers. He never ran, just savored every step. The petals eventually led him around the gardens and into the hall again, just outside the classroom where he had once studied during lecture season. The paperman peeked through the door, which was already conveniently opened. It was empty, yet Lan Wangji could practically see the dancing shadows of every memory manifest in the space.

It had been right after Lan Wangji had furiously crumpled a paperman, gazing back at the frivolous Wei Wuxian, holding back a chuckle. Nie Huaisang, right next to him, hid his curved smile under his holding fan. “There are three ways…” Lan Wangji whispered to himself.

_“First, liberate; second, suppress; third, eliminate. First, try to move it with its family and grant his dying wish, setting him free from his obsessiveness. If it fails, suppress it. If guilty, and its hatred does not relieve, then exterminate it completely.” His face remained stiff. “The cultivation world should stick to this order of measures. No errors should be allowed.”_

_Then, Lan Wangji smiled. Wei Wuxian went on a babbling rant on how there should be a fourth way in cultivation, where one should take advantage of someone's resentment and use it against their enemies. Lan Qiren had thrown his scroll at him. Lan Wangji was ordered to watch him at the library pavilion carrying out his punishment. He could see his enraged uncle clearly, the stiffness of the students, and the annoyance in his own body language._

_“Wangji, you take him to the library. He can’t leave without a thousand copies!”_

_He saluted. “Yes, master.”_

He then saw his own form walk out, leaving the heavy atmosphere of the classroom. Just past the turn of his silhouettes heel, the paperman lay on the ground, mocking the way Lan Wangji had crumpled it all those years ago. It pretended to twitch as he gazed upon it. “This was many, many years ago.”

The paperman jumped up as if to assure him of something, then twirled like a dancer. The energy it diffused reminded him of a face he hadn’t seen in a while. It once again scurried off somewhere in the room. Lan Wangji nodded, continuing on the path of flora, his grip on Bichen loosening with each step. An anticipation built its way near his heart, his chest buzzing in expectation. The path ahead was still endless. As the train of his moonlit robes dragged behind him, he heard another sound. This time, not of chimes or charms, but more low and harmonic.

It was of a flute. Very faint, yet in the air.

The source of the noise was too far for Lan Wangji to guess where it was coming from. Only the path could tell. Past a blooming tree of magnolias, the paperman sat in another suggestive pose, laying on its side with an arm propped under its head. With the other arm, it waved joyously. Lan Wangji reached to fetch it from in between the petals when it suddenly floated down, its body warping gently within the air. Landing on his shoulder, it sat like a child waiting for the show to arrive. “It is the flute.”

The paperman nodded.

“Do you know where we are headed to next?” It pointed further down the veranda until his eyes landed on the open doors of the library pavilion. He paced himself, making his way inside the circular exterior. Each book and scroll was carefully placed on branching shelves, each table neatly spiraling before the trunk in the center. And even easier than before, he could make out the moments here with Wei Wuxian, surrounded by the infused scent of sandalwood.

_“Bro Wangji.” No response. “Lan Wangji…” None. “Lan Zhan!” Finally, did he look at him._

Another moment, just before Lan Wangji would cut up his book of profanities, sending them flying in the air. Wei Wuxian, pouting deeply, complained into the air, struggling to catch the pieces.

_“Wei Ying!”_

_“Hahahaha!!!”_

And the moment when Lan Wangji had really lost his upfront.

_“Piss off.” He growled. Wei Wuxian met his eyes, his brows contorted with shock. He hurled the ripped page to the ground and put his hands on his hips._

_“Lan Zhan, people say you’re a noble gentleman, like the rarest pearl. No one could be more courteous than you. But you are just so-so. Cloud Recesses prohibit making a noise, but you dare ask me to piss off.” Wei Wuxian analyzed, looking unimpressed. Lan Wangji unsheathed Bichen out of its scabbard as a threat—Wei Wuxian instantly stepped back. “Okay, I’ll just piss off. I’m good at this anyway.” Shrugging, he stepped down the dais and waltzed his way out. “Don’t need to walk me out.”_

“Ridiculous.” Lan Wangji whispered, seeing Wei Wuxian’s form drift from the pavilion.

The paperman on his shoulder marched to the edge, mimicking the way Wei Wuxian did. Lan Wangji was careful to pick it up and place it back where it was safe in the middle of his shoulder. Looking back at it, it was a laughable moment. The emptiness of the library made him feel slightly empty, as if this place had been abandoned from frivolity. In all seriousness, it had.

With Wei Wuxian, the stiffness of his body could relax. His weighted words would hold more meaning. The steps he walked would be with destination.

The paperman slid its body onto Lan Wangji’s cheek, ushering him to continue on the path of blossoms. “Will you stay this time?”

The paperman nodded, making itself comfortable.

“Alright.” There was a soft look in his stare. “Don’t run off again.”

The path of flowers seemed to twist and turn endlessly this time, making its way over stepping stones, bridges and steps down to a lower part of the sanctuary. In the night, between the shooting branches of bamboo lining the path, shone the iridescent quartz decorating the edges, causing the flowers to shine in glimmering, dreamy ways. The sound of water was heard, and closer in the distance, the flute.

The notes changed every second, forming a faraway song too high in the air to understand yet. Seemingly knowing where their next stop was, Lan Wangji paused at the misty entrance of the Cold Springs. Teal crystals in the thick waters glowed as large lilies floated buoyant. The paperman instantly flung itself downwards, landing on a lily passing by. Lan Wangji’s eyes traced over the beauty of the sight. This was where him and Wei Wuxian’s adventure would begin. Totally by accident, like all good things start.

_“You are one of the people I approve of.” Wei Wuxian declared. “And I wanna be friends with you.”_

_“That won’t be necessary.” Lan Wangji murmured._

_“You are no fun. Let me share something with you. A lot of benefits come with being my friend.” He had started to undress, which led Lan Wangji out of the springs on his own. But then Wei Wuxian stopped him, promising he wouldn’t strip. “Lan Zhan, have you ever been to Yunmeng? There are a lot of fun things to do there. Great food.” He laughed. “How about this? If you ever visit Lotus Cove, I will pick lotus for you, the seedpod, along with the water chestnuts.”_

_“Never.”_

Lan Wangji had denied his invitation a mere second after it was requested. _Wei Ying, I would love to go to Yunmeng with you._ He thought, his gaze lowering. He was so stubborn with him back then. Who knew he would feel shameful thinking back at it? As he could practically see his own coldness in his eyes, it was a miracle Wei Wuxian hadn’t stopped there in order to be friends with him. His eyes, in a new spark, eventually landed on the drifting paperman, feeling the springs with its flimsy arm, only to realize that it could soak through the thin paper. “Be careful.”

Its small arm waved, slowly drifting towards his shoulder again. The ambience of running water and a distant flute filtered into his ears again, once all thoughts of what happened in the Cold Pond Cave washed over him. “Wei Ying was very bold.” The paperman seemed to dance in triumph, as if it had heard its own name being spoken. The man glanced at it as it stopped abruptly, looking the other way playfully. “Don’t you think so?” At the question, the paperman hesitantly looked back, shrugging.

Then, they were on their way again down the flowery path.

The next stop had been at the edge of the Cold Pond Cave, the cliffside stretching high into the sky. Of course Lan Wangji would remember such a sight, when Wei Wuxian had fallen on top of him when they stumbled out in a clumsy escape. If a paperman could giggle, it did, its delicate paper body shaking in delight. Lan Wangji looked at it, mesmerized. Who knew he would go on a mini adventure with a paperman, following a path of flowers after work? Deciding to comfort himself, he ushered it to take one last glance before they would move on.

With each step he took, the scenery would turn more lush, a deep green in the night. A thousand little lights shimmered near his face, above the bamboo shoots, and toward the clouds. The trickling of water in his ear eventually faded as the flute gained more strength in its noise. Yes, Lan Wangji heard the familiar tune. “Wei Ying?” He called out, yet it was no use for a response. The tune was _Wangxian_ , the song he had composed just for Wei Wuxian when they were stuck in the Xuanwu cave many years ago. Considering how bad Wei Wuxian’s memory was, Lan Wangji felt his heart flutter knowing he memorized such a song that had been trivial at the time. It was utterly nameless to the Yiling Patriarch, and both wondered how long he would remain in that ignorance.

He felt breathless, wanting to shout his name over and over again. But as the fireflies blinking lights cast shadows over his golden-brown irises, the only beauty he could witness was the verdant meadows just a stepping stone away. The quartz aided to the lights, shining over a grand willow and her nested dragonflies, flying about in cerulean circles. Lan Wangji stood still in the enchanted moment, he felt as if he had reached nirvana, heaven—a place where only good may come. It truly was magnificent.

The flora on the trees hung high on various towering branches; the cherry blossoms rich in bloom complimented the yellow flare of bugs around. But thinking of it, he had never had a moment with Wei Wuxian here, it was usually just him by himself, meditating or plucking at the guqin. If Wei Wuxian really had returned to him, he would bring him here to listen to the whispers of his zither. Maybe together they would bask under the shade of the weeping willow, sharing confessions all over again.

He felt a tug on the collar of his robes. Looking down, he saw bunnies. Not just his white ones, but black ones snuggling up with each other on the grass. There were many of them, ones he had never seen before. Taken aback, the paperman slid down his sleeve, resting its fragile body on a black bunny. Lan Wangji managed a smile. Only one person in the whole world knew he loved bunnies first. His heart jumped in his throat as he picked two up, inspecting their twiddling noses. He pet them until more and more started to prance up his robes, gathering around him.

Lan Wangji decided to sit, the robes now flat on the ground all around him as fur balls of black and white hopped and competed for a seat on his lap. The paperman seemed to like the commotion, almost a little too much, when he jumped from bunny to bunny. “You must be careful.” He spoke low. An assuring nod was seen behind white fur.

Several minutes later, Lan Wangji decided to trail along the path once again. It had taken several minutes for the bunnies to hop off the train of his robes. As fireflies followed him through the grove and down another lush pathway, his steps began to gain speed. So did his heart. So did his senses. Whatever was at the end, the flute would prove his guess correct. _Wei Ying, Wei Ying, Wei Ying…_ Had he finally returned?

Flashes of moments between the two played like soft images at the forefront of his eyes. “Everywhere I go…” He murmured, his breaths quickening. “I see you with me.” Dotted all over the Cloud Recesses, he had always seen his Wei Ying near him. By the rocks, by the doors, waiting for him in the hall, smiling at him as he opened the Jingshi… Wei Wuxian, his soulmate, was a part of him missing. He would hear his laughter, see the tassel at the end of his flute wave in the air, witness him teasing the juniors. Wei Ying… If he could wish, be selfish for just a moment, he would ask for Wei Ying to come back to him. He would ask to stay with him forever at Gusu, sleeping together in the Jingshi, kissing every morning, embracing each other every night. If he could launch a wish along with his soul into the moonlit night, he would finally submerge into true happiness.

He did not think of standing on Bichen, floating in the air to follow where the flowers led him to. He did not remember landing on the rock just in front of the soaring waterfall on the far side of the Cloud Recesses. It did not register in his mind that he was now many feet in the air as he witnessed a mountainous view of his palace. The flute sounded so, so close.

_“Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian turned towards him. “You truly deserve your title, Hanguang-Jun.” He turned around, their gazes locking together._

_“And you too, Wei Ying.”_

They smiled at each other. Lan Wangji would never forget it.

Now, surrounded by a thousand flickering lights, and the shrilling sounds of the flute, complimenting the soft falling of water, he walked forward. He took a step. Another one. Right to the middle of the rocky platform. And there, hidden under the twinkle of golden brilliance, stood him, a flute touching the edge of his lips. And as the last note played, sounding low and fading, Lan Wangji’s knees threatened to buckle. “Wei Ying…”

“Lan Zhan…” He called, that same exact smile he loved painted across his face.

Lan Wangji picked up his trailing robes, bunching them in his hand. With a newfound freedom, he paced towards Wei Wuxian, which at the same time, ran towards him. And with just a couple more steps, they were in each other’s embrace. It was tight and binding, their chests clinging to each other. A moment of comforting silence followed, their heartbeats steady at one another’s pace.

Wei Wuxian laughed softly into his hair, whether it was through tears or a tightened throat, as his arms locked around his neck. “Lan Zhan, has it really been over a year?”

The latter could not believe it. He was holding his love in his arms, his own body shaking at the thought of it. “Yes.” Was all he could utter. “Yes, it was.”

“Oh! And where are my manners? I should be calling you your Excellency by now, isn’t that right, Hanguang-Jun?” He teased. “...I’m just so glad I can see you again, whatever new title you have.”

“Wei Ying,” his hands tightened at his waist. “Did you do this?”

“All this?” He pulled away, holding Lan Wangji’s hands in his own. “The juniors and I planned it together. I sent them many letters the past week as we figured out ideas on how to surprise you.” Wei Wuxian marvelled. “It was Zizhen’s idea to meet here, Jin Ling’s idea to do it during the night, Jingyi’s idea to take a stop at the Cold Springs and Sizhui’s to walk on a path of memories!” He smiled brightly. “I thought of the bunnies, the liquor and the path of flowers… so, did it work? Did we surprise you?” He leaned in, bringing their joined hands up and bumping shoulders.

“Mm.” He nodded, still utterly speechless. “It was beautiful.”

Wei Wuxian suddenly did not have a thick face to uphold. “Ah, Lan Zhan, when you say it like that…” He giggled his nervousness away. “I just really wanted to make a grand entrance for my return to the Cloud Recesses.”

“It was grand. Still grand.” He tightened his grasp. “Wei Ying is finally home.”

“My poor heart! I’m the one supposed to be spoiling you right now, Lan Zhan…” He pointed, glistening eyes interlocked with his. “When you say words like that my face thins out. You should know this…”

“Wei Ying is finally home.” He smiled. Wei Wuxian’s heart jumped to his throat. “With me.”

“I can really stay with you?”

“Yes. Always.”

He giggled. “Was that a stupid question?”

“Ridiculous.”

Wei Wuxian laughed his lungs out, leaning in close to hold Lan Wangji again. “Have I ever told you that you look beautiful in the moonlight?” A familiar hand rested on his cheek, one calloused and large. “Of course you know. You’re the most handsome Lan, Hanguang-Jun.”

“Not as handsome as Wei Ying.”

“Wei Ying begs to differ.” He closed his palms behind Lan Wangji’s shoulders, looking up dreamily at the man in front of him. He stared back, lazy eyes blinking slowly as he took in the sight of the man he waited for. “I missed you so much, my Lan Zhan.”

“Also missed you.” It was his turn to caress Wei Ying’s cheek, filled with love and care. “More than you could know.”

“How on earth did I get so lucky to have Hanguang-Jun, Lan Wangji, Lan Zhan in my arms like this?” He grinned, their foreheads touching. “I must have done something in my past life.”

“We were together in your past life.” He recalled, which resulted in another fit of giggles.

“And look at us, together now.” Wei Wuxian whispered. “I have so much to tell you, so many things I want to show you. Let’s night-hunt together soon, yeah?”

“Yes.”

“And let’s eat together, every morning and evening.”

“Yes.”

“And we can meet up with the juniors, and go to Caiyi Town!”

“Of course.”

“See each other every day… and I can brush out your hair, then you can brush out mine.” Wei Wuxian put on a goofy grin, telling him his fantasies. “And I can help you dress, and you can play me the guqin. I can try my best to help you with your work, and take care of the bunnies… Then you can tell me what's on your mind, and I’ll tell you what's on mine. And at the end of the day, I can help you take off your hairpieces and…” He babbled, coming to an end with a smile from ear to ear, his thoughts still stuck in his brain, too many at the moment to all come out at once.

“And we could live together.” Lan Wangji whispered. “If Wei Ying allows it.”

His eyes widened. “Yes! Yes! Living with my Lan Zhan.” He scrunched his nose in delight. “Along with all of those things…” He slowed down. “...we could also…”

“Wake up.” Lan Wangji spoke in hushed tones, meeting Wei Ying’s eyes again. “With each other.”

“And fall asleep… with each other.”

“Not yet.” He held him closer. “The night is still young.”

A shy smile crept up his lips, his eyes glistening with tears just looking at the sight of Hanguang-Jun. His shoulders bobbed with a scoff. “My Lan Zhan… I love you so much.”

“I love my Wei Ying.” He stepped forward, his clutch tighter. “In all my lifetimes.”

A tear rolled down his cheek. Wei Wuxian had said that to him that snowy night. It was funny how in both moments, he started to cry at the overwhelming sensation of love.

And with that, the two leaned in and kissed.

Their lips found each other easily, a sparking connection of sensuality, wrapped in each other's warmth. For too long they had been separated, for too long they hadn’t touched each other. Now, with their breaths mingling and lips in a binding connection, they could not pull away. Wei Wuxian cupped Lan Wangji’s face in his palm, leaning in as their kiss deepened.

They kissed and kissed and kissed, confessing their most vulnerable parts of themselves. A supernova of emotion bonded them together as their lips brushed against each other. They pulled away to breathe, a thin layer of saliva connecting both of their mouths. Lan Wangji, out of habit, leaned to bite the bottom of his throbbing lips as he dug his begging tongue between Wei Wuxian’s awaiting mouth. The sounds of lips upon lips filtered into the night air.

“Lan Zhan… mmn…” Wei Wuxian moaned at the soft feel of his love’s petal-pink lips against his own. “Stay with me… forever…”

He pulled away, a gloss over both their mouths. Then, he placed gentle butterfly kisses all over Wei Wuxian’s face, from his forehead to his temple, brows, eyes, cheeks, chin and jaw. “Anything for Wei Ying.” He breathed between kisses. He had giggled underneath the soothing tickle of Lan Wangji’s pampering. But before he could lean to feel Wei Wuxian against him again, the latter had ulterior motives.

Pulling his hand out from behind Lan Wangji’s neck, he eventually found his way above his eyes, fiddling with a metal cloud, carved in great detail. Gently, he let the ribbon loosen itself from his forehead, falling helplessly into Wei Wuxian’s palm. Lan Wangji, exposed, stood before him with an even greater feeling of endearment. His breaths were still heavy as Wei Wuxian slowly inhaled his captivating scent of sandalwood. “I’ll put this back on for you tomorrow morning.” He teased, bringing their foreheads together so they touched completely.

They kissed each other again, softly and slowly.

Memories of them danced around the Cloud Recesses, gleaming in their own way. Years and lifetimes passed between them, yet they always found their way towards each other. And so Wei Ying and Lan Zhan would go back to those frolicing shadows, creating more memories with their newfound love. The sun and moon would rise, yet their souls stayed just where they were, mated together beneath the blinding awakening to every morning and silvery glow of every evening.

But for now, the juniors looked up at them, tall and towering on the top of the highest waterfall. They all smiled, knowing their plan had worked out in the end.

And so Lan Zhan looked into his eyes, and Wei Ying looked at his.

To love each other… they wouldn’t trade the feeling for anything else in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! if this does well, i might write more wangxian fics :) comments would be wonderful! you can reach me on ig, @rinnejxxn so i can scream ab wangxian ❀


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